


Another Family

by AngelusErrare



Category: Mass Effect
Genre: Gen, family tumbleweed
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-05-02
Updated: 2014-05-02
Packaged: 2018-01-21 14:33:47
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,912
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1553798
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AngelusErrare/pseuds/AngelusErrare
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Shepard grudgingly accepts that she has found a new, slightly dysfunctional family after the events of Mindoir and Akuze.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Another Family

**Author's Note:**

> I have never attempted Mass Effect fic, and I'm relatively new to fanfiction in general, so any help/crit would be appreciated. I might make a semi-continuation of this for Mass Effect 3, considering heartbreaking events and a comment by Wrex during ME3.  
> This is based off my own playthrough; Nikita "Nick" Shepard, a Colonist/Sole Survivor Paragon with a slight Renegade streak.  
> Edit 5/2/14 - Changed phrasing here and there, added additional commentary about Mordin.

_Family._

The last thing Nikita Shepard had expected-- or wanted-- was to have another family. At sixteen on Mindoir she swore never to fall in love, never to have children of her own, never to let anyone grow close enough that she would ever consider calling them family. Not after losing her parents and younger sister, the sister she was supposed to protect. That oath was only reinforced after losing her team, her friends, on Akuze. Again, after being forced to choose to leave Ashley behind on Virmire (and Kaidan tearing her apart on Horizon). After breaking that promise by becoming so comfortable and friendly once more, she swore not to do it again after losing the old _Normandy_ and twenty-one members of the best damn crew to grace the galaxy.

And dammit, she was not supposed to break that rule again now that she was leading a goddamned suicide mission against the same opponent that had demolished the SR-1, with the certainty of losing even more people hanging over her head.

She had tried at first to distance herself from the crew, but her foolish tendency to wonder about the safety and happiness of her people had squashed that idea rapidly. Between her natural curiosity and her sensitivity to the moods of her crew members, avoiding making the old rounds had been impossible. Besides, it had kept her mind off of the memories, kept her from reliving the old pains, and sure as hell had kept the nightmares at bay for a few hours longer each day.

Even if she _had_ been able to keep her distance, the requests that trickled in now and then... Nikita had too much heart to deny them. Jacob and Tali's fathers, Miranda's sister, Samara's daughter and Thane's son, Legion's entire race, Grunt's coming of age, Mordin's assistant, Jack and Kasumi and their need for revenge. In truth, she probably could have avoided Zaeed's own desire for revenge; he had simply been overthrown, while Kasumi and Jack had both been hurt in their own way. Why she had accepted, she had no idea. On the other hand, she had gone with Garrus to save him from making a mistake. It was the least she could do for her best friend... the friend who might as well have been a brother.

She shook her head with a sigh, staring at the tank full of (miraculously surviving) fish that spanned almost the entire left wall of her quarters. As she punched the button to feed them, she wondered how she could make the mistake of letting herself get close again. 

Garrus had been the first, the young turian's cockiness and determination to combat injustice allowing him to inexplicably worm his way into her heart. She never thought when she met him that she would grow to see him as her best friend and brother, a person she trusted almost more than anyone else when it came to watching her back. When she found him on Omega with his sniper rifle and the same old smirk, an undeniable sense of joy had stirred in her heart. When he was shot (because only Garrus would think it a good idea to block a rocket with his face) she had blamed herself, overcome with the same guilt she nearly drowned in when she failed to protect her sister. Already she had been stupid enough to let him mean that much to her. Her decision to keep him from shooting Sidonis had proven that much; she would have kept her sister from the same choice, but almost anyone else would have been allowed to make the shot.

Tali was the same way, albeit a sister rather than a brother. That change had been much more subtle, and therefor more confusing when Shepard realized exactly that had transpired. She had come to the crew almost entirely by chance, and her skills had made her a valuable asset, but it was her personality that brought Nikita to enjoy her presence on the ship. She was sweet to the crew, and it was all too easy for everyone to become protective of her. However, there was a sarcastic, biting side to her that Shepard liked all too much, and it intrigued her to see that side of the young quarian. Admittedly, she had known little of quarians before meeting Tali, but that hardly crossed her mind when her friend needed her to stand beside her before the Admiralty Board.

Kasumi had also managed to sneak through Shepard's defenses, though she privately wondered if the thief had done it on purpose. It was impossible _not_ to like her. Her easygoing nature and tendency to gossip was just so out of place on a mission like theirs that it became endearing. No one on the ship seemed to have any problem with her, even she ship's XO, Miranda. When Kasumi came to Nikita looking for closure regarding her dear friend, she had accepted without pause.

When had she become such a bleeding heart? When did Shepard, the untouchable, near-emotionless hero become Nikita, the commander who jumped at every opportunity to protect the crew she never intended to become friends?

Then there was Miranda. Waking up in the Cerberus facility, Nikita hated her, hated this woman who saw fit to drag her out of the peaceful sleep of death, pull her away from her years-delayed rest with her family and team and wake her up to fight again. Over time, that hatred had grown into a grudging respect for the Cerberus prodigy, a mutual tolerance between them that she was content to keep. Even if that tolerance never grew, she would have accepted Miranda's request to rescue her sister-- unable to selfishly deny her the safety Nikita had failed to give her own sister.

Jacob, she was still unsure of. Much like Miranda, her dislike of him stemmed from the fact that he was loyal to Cerberus. Even after finding his father-- and the truth behind the man's unethical survival-- Nikita found it difficult to trust him. He was friendly enough, far more so than Miranda, but he refused to work with Thane. He was cold and uncooperative whenever the assassin came to the armory for gun oil or to request a new part for his sniper rifle. Despite being reprimanded, he remained difficult, and Nikita found it hard to like him when he made such a strong effort to piss off another member of the team.

She allowed herself a small smile when she thought of the two who somehow ended up filling the roles of her uncles: Mordin and Zaeed.

It made more sense in Zaeed's case, with the way her conversations with the mercenary were almost entirely him recounting tales of his exploits. She admitted to herself that most of them were actually interesting, though some she found distasteful. He was proud of his many successful kills and the situations he had managed to escape, and though she hated to admit it he reminded her of a veteran friend of her father's.

As for Mordin... She was relatively certain only family members gave such immensely awkward advice, especially in the departments of sex and romance. Still, despite the unexpected commentary on her personal life, it was impossible not to find the salarian charming in his way. She also had the feeling the doctor only sang in front of those he felt particularly comfortable with. He certainly never sang in the mess hall or during missions. She wondered briefly to herself if he ever sang in front of Meylon when they worked together, but that thought brought her a sense of sadness. That was one shot she had been unable to block.

Trying to lighten her own mood, she muttered to the tank, "I can't be the only one who thinks it's kinda funny that Massani's becoming my uncle. I mean, of all the fucking people on this ship, _Zaeed_!" 

The fish did not respond to her statement, content to float placidly back and forth in their tank and contemplate how long they had before she inevitably forgot to feed them, and they joined their predecessors in whatever fishy heaven might exist.

As amusing as it was to think about her unlikely (and just downright strange) uncles, she did know one "family" tie that was more laughable and definitely more implausible: her apparent motherhood to Grunt.

Becoming the surrogate mother to an adolescent krogan had not been high on Nikita's list of priorities. Hell, becoming _any_ surrogate family member to a krogan had never even crossed her mind, and then suddenly she found herself the main guiding force to Grunt. She knew she was lucky to be close to Wrex during the hunt for Saren; the knowledge of krogan mannerisms and their attitudes towards battle certainly helped her understand Grunt. It also helped that her good friend was now the dominant power on Tuchanka. Thanks to him, Grunt had a place to call home, a clan name of his own, and what he felt was a purpose. Despite those gains, Shepard and Zaeed seemed to be the primary adult figures Grunt listened to, and she was grateful for the help-- herding the young krogan into the showers when he refused to wash for weeks on end was not a task she wanted to deal with on her own. She was more than willing to leave that to the mercenary.

Speaking of parents, Samara had somehow interposed herself as an intimidating yet supportive mother, and that was perhaps the most disturbing relationship Nikita had to come to grips with. It was easier to accept that Tali'Zorah and Kasumi had somehow become sisters to her. A mother was more difficult. Hannah Shepard had been the most central figure in Nikita's life for sixteen years, and it hurt to think that somehow she might be subconsciously replacing her. Of course, when she discussed that with her yeoman, Kelly had reminded her that she could never replace her mother. In the overly touchy-feely conversation that followed, she was told in agonizing detail that Samara's motherly nature came from her perceived failure to take proper care of her own daughters. "Besides," Kelly had added with a small smile, "isn't it nice to know you have someone to turn to when you need the comfort of a parental figure?"

Nikita knew it was, though she denied it when Kelly asked. She wished Samara's motherly nature would focus more on Jack than her. The Cerberus test subject was one of two members of the crew who seemed to be content with a relationship no more complicated than friendship. Actually, Jack seemed determined to ensure any other type of relationship failed. It was hard enough just being friends with her; she seemingly made every possible effort to piss people off and push them away. Oddly, Nikita was comfortable with that, possibly because Jack had agreed to share her music collection with her in one of the few conversations which ended in something other than cursing. It could have also been their shared dislike of Miranda.

Legion was also content to simply be friends. The rest of the crew seemed confused when it came to the geth, and Legion made very few attempts to convince them to warm up to it. It seemed more interested in needling Tali, annoying her more and more with every passing day. Shepard had to admit she liked listening to their banter, though she stepped in to mediate any time it seemed they might come to blows. She also enjoyed her own conversations with Legion, often stopping by its place in the AI Core to see if the synthetic member of the team had anything new to say. Theirs was a more casual relationship; she had no worries about their closeness to each other, and none of the conflicting thoughts that came with feeling as though Garrus, Kasumi and Tali were siblings to her.

Another grin lit her face as she turned away from the fish to wander aimlessly through her cabin. There was one relationship that gave her no guilt, no illogical feelings of betraying her blood family. There was still the great potential for pain, but...

Of all of them, the worst was her connection-- fuck it, _attraction_ to Thane. Somehow the intense stare of the assassin saw through all her barriers, disassembled her mental armor and picked the locks of all the doors that held her emotions back. It was unsettling at first, but as time wore on she grew to anticipate it, even to feel more secure when she was sitting across the table from him. It had been so long since she had felt safe that his presence was refreshing. Their long, philosophical talks had drawn her in and trapped her, and for once she was content to let the emotion cage her. She knew he felt much the same as she did, although in some ways it was the worst revelation of all.

"So much for swearing not to love, eh?" she murmured over her shoulder to the apathetic fish. Along with her hamster, they had been the only living beings she was willing to care about, and then her stupid, amazing crew had all come along and ruined that resolution.

It was nothing short of a miracle that she had found another family, however unwillingly-- well, unwillingly at first. Even so, as she paced back and forth in her room she thought of the mission looming ahead and held back the urge to whimper like the little girl she once was. Saren had been one thing. Reapers were another-- hell, she had already killed one of the damn things, and she would gladly face another rather than taking on the Collectors again. With Saren and Sovereign, there had been little fear of losing most of her people. Now she was faced with losing all of them.

Her own death was nothing special to her, nothing to be afraid of. But losing all these people who had come together to face the Collectors, to save the galaxy-- how could she live if she lost another family? How could she face another day if any of them died, if she was _responsible_ for their deaths in a way she never was for her birth family? At least on Mindoir there had been nothing she could do. Now? She would never forgive herself if a member of her team died when she could save them, when she could _protect_ them.

Letting loose a low sigh, Nikita forced herself not to punch the wall in front of her. The small bit of self control cost her teeth dearly; she ground them until her entire jaw ached.

She would _not_ carry the memories of another family gone. She would _not_ bear witness to another slaughter. She would _not_ lose another team to some alien sons-of-bitches that lacked the common sense to say, "Oh shit, it's Shepard!" and turn tail and run. 

Breathing deeply, she moved to her desk and settled down among the stacks of data pads to plan. Swiping a finger across one, she entered a few variables and called the ship's resident AI. "EDI, run a simulation with these parameters."

She watched the simulation for only a few seconds before interrupting and changing the variables, asking EDI to run it once more. This one lasted a full minute before suffering the same fate. There were three days to perfect it. Chewing the inside of her cheek, she changed only one variable. This simulation made it a full five minutes-- running its course before resulting in a failure. Three days to come up with a way for all the team to survive. Another variable altered, another simulation run. Of course, the simulations only covered the likely battle with one or more Collector ships. They had that data on file, but nothing else about what lay beyond the Omega-4 Relay. If the Collector base was anything like their ships, she felt the outside might be more difficult than the inside. 

She watched the simulation run its twelve-minute course to failure and returned every variable-- every _member_ \-- back to the original setting. On a hunch, she changed the coding for one particular person, one little red-haired commander, and set the simulation to play again. 

This time, the simulation ran smoothly, a full twenty minutes passing before resulting in a failure. It was close; the _Normandy_ had almost reached the unknown that was the Collector base. Nikita's brow furrowed as she swiped the screen to reply the scenario. She watched it two more times before finally setting the data pad back on her desk and staring at the wall ahead of her. 

There would need to be a few more altercations made. Just a few, enough to factor in fluctuating shields and the various upgrades currently being installed on the ship. But if this simulation was any indicator... No. There was still so much data missing. It was beyond foolish to suddenly have so much hope for them based on one simulation, on one small variable. There were still three days to gather more information, to finalize everything, to make it as accurate as possible when one massive piece of information was missing. 

But that one variable gave her hope. 

If that was the price to save this new family of hers...

The Collectors would never know what hit them.

**Author's Note:**

> Characters and default Femshep belong to Bioware. Personality of this particular femshep is mine.


End file.
